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im here for the jokes and cute boys, i dont really care about much else. unless you have weed or oreos. im extremley inappropriate & also shout out to my best friend colette.

allmymetaphors:

i accidentally showed some weakness earlier today it was disgusting i would not recommend it 

expels:

my talents include stress eating and falling in love with people that will never love me back

mydogsnokes:

o yea the 90s. the 90s were great. fuckin sick. raw as hell. learning how to speak. crying for no reason. shitting in my diaper

lyingmary:

imnotpooping75:

imnotpooping75:

where did noah keep his bees

IN THE ARK HIVES

Get the fuck away from me right now

griffinilla:

my dog is named Lucky

and sometimes he escapes from our house, so we have to go get Lucky

and sometimes it’ll be dark out, and we’ll be up all night to get Lucky

tacoarmy:

"hey can i get a bit of your donu-"image

lion-eyes03:

IF HER BRA MATCHES HER PANTIES THEN CONGRATS YOU’RE GETTING LAID

unclefather:

how to kiss a boy

  1. grab his waist
  2. slip your hand in his pocket
  3. steal his wallet
  4. dont even kiss him
  5. just run